SYTYCDance Dance Dance

My top 4 predictions:

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The guys

Evan Kasprzak

Ade Obayomi

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The girls

Randi Evans Jeanine Mason

My top guy and girl:

Ade & Jeanine

Call it what you want-- this is what I want.

Bucket List. Goals. Desires. Call it what you want. This is what I want.

-Dance for a company
-Audition for Blazer Dancers
-Teach Dance
-Work with children in any aspect to help build their character and knowledge
-Pursue photography and sell my work
-Travel to Australia and Scotland
-Love someone more than myself unconditionally and have that in return
-Become a mother
-Own my own home that is warm, cozy and that I'll love going home to everyday
-Never give up
-Never settle for anything less than I want or deserve
-Be happy
-Love
-Dance
-Learn how to play the guitar and piano


I will continue to add to this as ideas fill my mind.

What's in a name... er status?

Relationships. This word makes some of our hearts flutter, while it makes others run in fear with their tail between their legs. I am trying to understand the reasoning of fear of it. What's wrong with being someone you care for and calling it a "relationship"? We've all been hurt at times in our lives. All of us. But we can't let that cause fear for our future. Like I told my dad the other day in his discussion of protecting myself... "Dad... It's going to hurt, every time, til it's the right time." We all have to keep on batting til we hit that run into home.

Is there something inside me that I don't see?

I've been doing some soul searching these last few weeks-- Thinking. Reflecting. Discussing. Contemplating. Laughing. Crying. You name it.

Something is missing. Or maybe it's some things are missing. Plural, definitely plural. Back in the winter I began to feel as I had a clean slate. A new beginning or a fresh start. It was time to go after those things that I truly wanted to ensure my own self happiness.

Well, it's time. No more wasting time. I've been learning to let the little things go that I can't control. There will be things that we will always have to let go of and move on from. I always want to please everyone. That's just something that will always be in me. But it's time to be a little selfish.

While I sit here and write how it's time to go after everything I've dreamt of or wanted-- some things I can't even begin to put my finger on. What do I want?? Problem.

I know I miss this:

As for whatever else, it continues to be a mystery to me. It's just something I feel and I'm going to figure it out.

The beats to my life...

I just wanted to share some lyrics from a few songs. These words fit where I'm at right now and how I feel.

Butterflies in my stomach
And my feet off the ground
- - -
All I know is that you're so nice
You're the nicest thing I've seen
- - -
The waves crash fown upon this windswept beach
The driftwood lays there as a symbol of defeat
Here I sit with my life laid out before me
Will I rise or be trampled by the storm
You must take control and let this go
Flush your mind of doubt and don't be destroyed
Fly as fast as you can and be set free
- - -
When I wake up in the mornin' light
I pull on my jeans and I feel alright
I pull my blue jeans on, I pull my old blue jeans on
I pull my blue jeans on, I pull my old blue jeans on
- - -
We'd never have to wonder...
- - -
Slow to trust but I'm quick to love
Push too hard and I give too much
I ain't sayin' I'm perfect
But I promise I'm worth it
- - -
I don't know you but I want you
All the more for that
- - -
If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
I'd make you believe
And make you forget

photographs ~ jhp

Stand There

But you stand there, oh you stand there and tell me over again
How I can't, oh how I can't, can't do it the right way
And I'm tired and I'm hurting far too much to stand
Oh I can't, oh I can't take this any longer